I've been a poser for f--ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

Every answer you ever need lies within your own silence..

Why work today? I'll take Tuesday on, just like I took Monday off. That's just the kind of dedicated worker I am.

Loving people are magnetic. To attract your SoulMate, BE the loving person you want to be, and do it NOW.

I actively pursue experiences that are unlike any others that I've experienced and cultures that I don't know and unfamiliar places and unfamiliar history and things like that.

The deeper your belief, the deeper your pockets.

I don't think I'm abnormal and I think that lets people down.

I thought about making movies. It hit me when I was about 14, 15 years old.

Modern science is a catalyst agent to fulfil the needs of humankind. We must ensure that it reaches to poorest of the poor.

Carnal lust rules where there is no love of God.

My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.