I've been doing pranks my whole life, so I guess I'm pretty good at it.

I just lost my best friend, I have been crying hysterical for a full day.

Life's philosophy, hm... I just say, 'Do what you do and have fun doing it and try not to be too miserable.'

Seeing people get messed up never gets un-funny! And there's plenty of ways to do that.

Nothing is really 'safe'.

I like geography. I could tell you the capital of any country you want.

I don't like Paris so much.

Sometimes when you're with somebody, and all their stuff is at your house, it's so hard to break up with them. You don't know what they're going to wreck and destroy.

One time my mom tried to ground me, but that lasted 15 minutes.

These trees and these old people have one thing in common - they're both going in the ground soon!

I'm on a lot of airplanes, so I just sip on red wine thinking of stupid ideas and, when I think of it, I wanna make it happen.

But you weren't born expecting that kind of beauty in everyone, all the time. You just got programmed into thinking anything else is ugly.

I love looking up at the stars because they make me believe that some things in this world are permanent.

A fly, a grape-stone, or a hair can kill.

I never grew up reading or fantasizing about fairy tales. I was always too busy, like, outside being a kid.

To get rid of anger you can change the situation or change how you think about the situation.

A sound body keeps a sound mind.

London is like the tropical bush -- if you don't exercise constant care the jungle, in the shape of the slums, will break in.

Mary Baker Eddy is said to have had a phone installed in her coffin just in case she happened to wake up. I've been told that's an urban myth. Somebody should check it out.

But do you know, I shall not be sorry to die. I shall be glad, Monsieur. And why glad, you ask? Because I love France and hate the Germans who have put this war on us.

If a jazz player is really playing, the classical player will have to respect him.