I've been doing som jogging at home recently and every time I try the distance I end up beating his time with like three or four seconds.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

Holistic self-realization is the realization of your heart’s desire. Why holistic? Because it involves your entire being.

Every job is an opportunity to be a better person.

A little (one) can sometimes see things in others that us older ones cannot because our judgement gets clouded. —Abbot Saxtus

Tango is about feeling and sensitivity, otherwise you are just doing gymnastics. You can do all the steps but it has to have the feeling and sensitivity of authentic tango.

Messi alone is more dangerous than Real Madrid's attacking trio Ronaldo, Benzema and Bale.

Be happy. If you're successful but unhappy, that's emptiness.

Lord Salisbury constitutes himself the spokesman of a class, of the class to which he himself belongs, who'toil not neither do they spin'.

Faith is a devout belief in what one does not understand.

I always run the stories by Capcom. They read the scripts and give their comments. I would never want to kill a character that they really want to use in the next game.

Defect in manners is usually the defect of fine perceptions. Elegance comes of no breeding, but of birth.