I've been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don't care what anybody thinks of what I do on stage as a comic.

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!

When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.

If it smells like fish its a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone.

Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!

I always just loved women, but more important than loving women, more important than sexual stuff, is I always believed in romance.

I'll always push myself because that's the journey of life. We do go through things. Some of it's incredibly great and some of it's really bad.

Even as a stage performer, I have my garb which is leather jackets and black jeans to make me feel a certain way. The wardrobe is really important to feeling the character you're playing.

I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really.

If Lady Gaga didn't put on all those outfits, she probably wouldn't have made it in show business. She put a show behind her voice.

The whole world has changed, so you just stay current with the world. There's nothing different in my language of how I say things.

Believing is seeing" is much more effective for me than the old notion that seeing is believing.

Some things have eternal value, and compassion is one of them. I hope we never lose that. Compassion for humans as well as animals.

Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

We were made not primarily that we may love God, but that God may love us.

Californians are worried about whether they will have a job along with ballooning federal spending and deficits.

I don't mind anything that's written about me, as long as it's not true.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!

A profound intriguing and compelling guide to the intricacies of the human brain.

American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot

The wind, a sightless laborer, whistles at his task.