I've been going up and bombing everywhere. It's great. I love it. It's hilarious.

I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant...because I believe in myself.

When people go through something rough in life, they say, "I'm taking it one day at a time." Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.

I like burritos more than Jesus because steak burritos are delicious. And they're real.

I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, 'Why do you want to work at Starbucks?' Uh, because my life is in shambles.

I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.

I want to just at least make it weird for you to watch Cosby Show reruns.

Don't thank the lord, I gave you that compliment... Thank me.

My nephew's always crying. I'm like, 'Dude, why are you crying? Your life is great. All you do is eat apple sauce and take dumps. That's your day.

I don't want to die before Will Smith 'cause then I miss that awesome 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' marathon.

Acting is fun; it's easier than writing, and if you get on a [TV] show, it draws people to your stand-up. That's ultimately what I'd like to do.

Nothing is more comical than seriousness understood as a virtue that has to precede all important literature

Live as if life is for loving and giving.

They said her duck recipe and the Chinese music were so dramatic everything else sounded anemic.

The genius of art finds sanctuary among children and madmen to survive.That is who we are.

Nothing will enrich your life as much as the appreciation of art. If you want to 'Live Rich', you have to - absolutely have to - include art in your life.

I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel.

Drawing is the skeleton of what you do and color is its flesh.

By every remove I only drag a greater length of chain.

Trust is the easiest thing in the world to lose, and the hardest thing in the world to get back.

God loves us and seeks our redemption, at times through angels.