I've been insane for a long time. An ex-girlfriend of mine once asked, "Is it true that all comedians are depressed?," and I said, "Every one I know is."

Dogs are more of a responsibility than kids - you can send a kid off to their grandparents or a nanny, but with a dog you can't do that.

You can maybe be artistic and really original and creative, but as long as it's got that funniness at the root of it, then certain people are going to love it just because they need a laugh.

My dad was in the army so we moved around a lot and I changed schools every year and had to make new friends, and I found that if I was the funny guy I could do that easier.

To open the majority of peoples' minds to something new is difficult. I always think that, as long as it's funny underneath, then you can argue that a teaspoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

There are no real guidelines or maps in Australia as to how to write a show, whereas in Hollywood it's where the TV industry is created and there's a lot of work that goes into development.

I often don't like seeing how different things are made. I'm not a big fan of behind the scenes stuff.

I'm sort lucky in that for me, I'm a writer now. I started as an actor but I'm a writer and so things like 'Wilfred' and shows like that are where I escape to.

It's great to write for actors when you know who they are. I think I prefer it.

British comedy - which has been a big inspiration to me for many years - is very different to Australian comedy and different again to American comedy.

Back in Australia, I did foster care for sick cats for years, and I was always most successful with the animals when I was given two - a brother and sister.

Become grounded in the Bible. As Christians, we have only one authority, one compass: the Word of God.

I had never thought of advertising as a life work, though I had on the side, written some very successful copy.

Not being re-signed in Baltimore was probably the lowest point, mentally, of my career. That city was the only place where I wanted to be at the time, based on everything that had transpired.

Baptize first the children; and if they can speak for themselves, let them do so. Otherwise, let their parents or other relatives speak for them.

When I was married, I didn't work. When I had my children, I didn't work. But before that, I'd work for Diana Vreeland at 'Harper's Bazaar.'

Why don’t you come up and have a little ... scotch and sofa?

Revenge is the raging fire that consumes the arsonist.

Love is just the most beautiful, joyous feeling. It can come from many places.

I am not a sun person at all. I think it's a cancerous poison and I don't want it touching me.

My life was pretty rough.