I've been working steadily as an actor since around 1998. I wasn't well known in the public, but I was a dependable working journeyman.

I'm enjoying the opportunity that Parks And Recreation affords me to exploit my own soapbox agenda, which is to try to encourage people to make things with their hands.

I grew up in a small town in Illinois, and my dad was a basketball coach. Thanks to him, I have excellent fundamentals in both basketball and baseball.

I have a wonderfully hedonistic appetite, and if I wasn't really strict with myself, I'd weigh 300 pounds. I'm not good with moderation.

If I had more time, I'd watch more woodworking or home-improvement shows, but, not enough hours in the day.

If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He's a grown man, fishing's not that hard.

Follow your gut, make a choice, and throw yourself into it. If you make a mistake, then you have merely afforded yourself a valuable lesson.

If properly dried and trimmed, New York-style pizza could be used to make a box for Chicago-style pizza.

If you want to be happy in life, consider yourself a student. Every day of your life, think: how can I improve?

Figure out what you love to do, then figure out how to get paid to do it.

Few if any seemed to have grasped the Principle of Reality

We must respect the past, and mistrust the present, if we wish to provide for the safety of the future.

I loved Stephen Wright, and I loved Mitch Hedberg, but they seemed like geniuses you could never emulate. You'd just be ripping them off.

This is a business meal. The calories do not count. I am mentally labeling these as 'business calories' so my body will know they were eaten in the line of duty and will process them differently.

The cheesecake was smooth and lush, with the personality of a warm and well-to-do uncle who knows a hundred dirty jokes and will die of sexual exertions in the arms of his mistress.

I would like to direct in the future, but I am in no hurry with that.

Ask the young. They know everything.

Hip is the knowledge and Hop is the movement.

But the idea of a man making his living by writing seemed, in that hardy environment, so fantastic that even today I am sometimes myself assailed by a feeling of unreality.

[Donald] Trump's own arrogance gets in the way. It's as if he steps on his own tongue regularly.