I've been writing joke songs since I was a kid and it served me well at S.N.L. I can write those in my sleep. In fact, I have.

You don't want to be the first person to tell your 5-year-old, like, 'You're going to have a life filled with disappointments and letdowns - enjoy!'

I like comedy as a group sport.

Because you want to keep an air of calm and cool.

I've never set out to write a funny movie or be a funny comedian as a woman. I am a woman. I don't really have a choice in the matter. My goal is just to be funny.

I feel like I come from a smaller off shoot of black people because I am mixed. People say I’m African American but that doesn’t include the other half of me.

I was a loud child, and if my mother sang to me, I would be quiet.

Most of my life I didn't feel very normal. There's definitely been some moments where I feel like, all right, I've finally graduated and I'm a normal lady.

When I first moved to New York, someone who thought they knew more than I did said: "You have to always look like you know where you're going when you get out of the subway."

I'm always learning when I'm surrounded by great people. In every experience, I feel like I'm learning. I'm not like, "Oh good. I'm done! I don't have to learn anymore."

I like being a funny lady. I think theres nothing sexier than a funny lady.

When someone close to you dies, the memories and recollections of them are painful.

We are never so happy nor so unhappy as we imagine.

What I have always wanted more than revenge is to bring the other person to recognition of the pain they caused, so they essentially say, "I will never do that again."

The Athanasian Creed is the most splendid ecclesiastical lyric ever poured forth by the genius of man.

At the end of the day, the Detroiter may be the most important American there is because no one knows better than he that we're all standing at the edge of the shaft.

I went through absolute stress and mayhem. I couldn't go out, because people were constantly on my back all the time.

Do not go gently into that good night but rage, rage against the dying of the light.

There is no magic in small plans.

It was only when I moved to New York that I realized tall is good.

If you want to travel around the world and be invited to speak at a lot of different places, just write a Unix operating system.