I've definitely read stuff that I've been offered, where I've been like, "I can't do this. I think somebody would be better in this than me."

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up.

If it's not happening, write your own thing!

I think that being a mother, you would do anything for your children. Their pain is your pain; if they're in pain, you feel their pain.

Nobody knows how long you're going to have life on Earth, so you really have to work at being joyous and happy.

I actually went to college with Adam Sandler. He was a dramatic actor, too!

There's so much to watch, I can't even keep up.

I want to do something I feel like I can do.

Sometimes a fan comes up to me, and I'm really interested in how they're acting, so I'll study them and use that in my material.

I'm healthy, I have beautiful children and a beautiful life. I don't want to go toward negative stuff because I'm scared.

You can make the audience laugh, be funny and sad at the same time.

Necessity is the mother of invention.

I don't trust words. I trust actions

There's time enough, but none to spare.

I did a lot of my writing as though I was an academic, doing some piece of research as perfectly as possible.

In 1908, you could easily earn $20 to $200 as a cartoonist. What's amazing is that it's still true!

I kind of call myself an atheist, I suppose - although quite a spiritual atheist, I hope.

The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.

Take the good the gods provide thee.

And anyone that calls me a sell-out is just jealous.

Respect, of course is a tricky term. I may respect your gardening by just letting you get on with it. Or, I may respect it by admiring it and regarding it as a superior way to garden.