I've done a movie and a TV series, and someday I'd like to do a successful movie and a successful TV series. That would be nice.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

Happiness is euphoria of the mind

I write about the things I feel strongly about.

I always wanted to be a Californian. In my wildest dreams, I always liked California - it's the place where oranges grows on trees! Fruit just falls off the trees.

I run a solid 4-6 miles at a time, and over the last year two years I've gotten really into SoulCycle. It's sort of an evolved form of spinning.

Lonely children probably wrote the Bible.

The urge to consume is fathered by the value system which emphasizes the ability of the society to produce.

Common sense is strengthened by joy.

If there is any test that can be applied to movies, it's that the good ones never make you feel virtuous.

I just realized that we're facing here is an empathy gap. And this was just another way to generate conversation about something that nobody wanted to look at.