"I've done your dog. It's got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you think of that?" "Fido looks a bit weird."

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).

I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

Sculpture is what you bump into when you back up to see a painting.

Show business is the best possible therapy for remorse.

Practice love and self-acceptance and you'll have an absolutely beautiful life.

You never realized how thick your fog was until it lifted.

You always want to keep your look clean and elegant, but you don't have to do the safe black-dress route. Have some fun! Wear something colorful with a hint of sparkle.

What a great way to see all of our legacies live on, through the video games.

People are people, and grief that is limited to those within a specific political boundary denies the humanity of others.

The mind has to be gradually and systematically brought under control.

I live in a pretty liberal place, so it's a lot of hidden racism and things like that. If you really look up California, it's a really shitty place when it comes to things like that.

If you don't take it for granted that the other man will do his job, you're not an executive.