I've finally found my home - as Lt. Frank Drebin.

Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.

Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.

Doing nothing is very tough to do because you never know when you're finished. The upside is that from the moment you wake up in the morning, you're on the job.

I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important.

One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up.

There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking.

It doesn't really matter where I go (Heaven or Hell). I'll have plenty of friends in both places.

Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline.

Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts.

Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.

My heart is warm with the friends I make, And better friends I'll not be knowing, Yet there isn't a train I wouldn't take, No matter where it's going.

God gave you the knowledge and ability for you to advance His Kingdom through your work

Power is a funny thing. Sometimes you can just take it.

You must excuse my gruff conduct, ” the watchdog said, after they’d been driving for some time, “but you see it’s traditional for watchdogs to be ferocious.

I also love fall, when it starts to rain, or even just before the rain - that is the most inspiring thing.

The trouble with real life is, there's no reset button.

God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us - in the dreariest and most dreaded moments - can see a possibility of hope.

The jet stream is the controlling influence over the world's weather systems.

Chimpanzees is hatin but I take it all in stride. Put her in a jungle with bananas on the side.

Making [Pineapple Express] was a blast. I'd kind of gotten to the point professionally where I was pretty emotionally exhausted from making dramatic films.