I've got a friend who is half-Jewish and half-Italian. If he can't buy it wholesale, he steals it!

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

My grandfather always said, Don't watch your money, watch your health. So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

On the murder of New York deli owner Abe Lebewohl: It's almost like wiping out Carnegie Hall. A sandwich to a Jew is just as important as a country to a Gentile.

My father was a very successful businessman, but he was ruined in the stock market crash. A big stockbroker jumped out the window and fell on his pushcart.

America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.

What will be left of the power of example if it is proved that capital punishment has another power, and a very real one, which degrades men to the point of shame, madness, and murder?

It doesn't pay to listen much to what human beings have to say in their evaluation of you, since they don't evaluate themselves very properly.

That's the harm of Close Encounters: that it convinces tens of millions that that's what just science fiction is.

Movies' mistrust of capitalism is almost as old as the medium itself.

We tire of those pleasures we take, but never of those we give.

You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.

Thou seest how sloth wastes the sluggish body, as water is corrupted unless it moves.

Culture is like a smog. To live within it, you must breathe some of it in and, inevitably, be contaminated.

So many creeps in Hollywood.

It was in the recognition that there is in each man a final essence, that is to say an immortal soul which only God can judge, that a limit was set upon the dominion of men over men.