I've got a very peculiar sort of fame, based on being on the telly. It doesn't mean you have the lifestyle people expect.

I do have a residual belief that, if at all possible, you should try not to mock the weak.

In Britian we have a free press. It's not a pretty press, but it's free. The people who can't bear the Daily Mail, they say: 'you should ban it'. No, no, no, no, you don't ban it... you don't buy it.

I've seen the Pokémon movie, which is probably the worst movie ever made on any subject ever.

All the libel lawyers will tell you there's no libel any more, that everyone's given up.

Modest about our national pride - and inordinately proud of our national modesty.

I get paid to do what I enjoy, not that common a condition.

There's an awful lot of terrible television which I could do, but I mostly stick to Have I Got News for You.

The best comedy is where you attack the strong, not the weak.

You have a huge amount of confidence when you're younger, which slowly ebbs away for the rest of your life. You think: 'No problem. I can do that. Why shouldn't I do it?'

My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty.

The phenomenon of economic ignorance is so widespread, and its consequences so frightening, that the objective of reducing that ignorance becomes a goal invested with independent moral worth.

Wealth is not the fruit of labor but the result of organized protected robbery.

One of these days they'll be making a film where the whole human race gets wiped out in a nuclear war, but everything works out in the end.

To me, charity often is just about giving, because you’re supposed to, or because it’s what you’ve always done — or it’s about giving until it hurts.

In True Balance Sonia Choquette takes the mystery out of staying balanced, both physically and spiritually. She offers a clear explanation of our chakras and how they influence our daily lives.

Time hath often cured the wound which reason failed to heal.

You are the only warmth in my heart. The only sunshine my winter has ever known. (Talon)

Garry Trudeau put me in the Doonesbury strip many years ago. So I've been a cartoon once.

Madonna reinforces everything absurd and offensive. Desperate womanhood. Madonna is closer to organized prostitution than anything else.

Hit them where they ain't.