I've got another friend who is half-German and half-Polish. He hates Jews but can't remember why!

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

My grandfather always said, Don't watch your money, watch your health. So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

On the murder of New York deli owner Abe Lebewohl: It's almost like wiping out Carnegie Hall. A sandwich to a Jew is just as important as a country to a Gentile.

My father was a very successful businessman, but he was ruined in the stock market crash. A big stockbroker jumped out the window and fell on his pushcart.

America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.

Of all the magic words in existence, words of kindness create the greatest transformation spells.

She was a Seeker now, marked for life.She had thought this brand would be an eblem of pride, but now it meant something entirely different. She was damned.

The most sacred thing is to be able to shut your own door.

'Metals' has partly been about me regaining my self respect and I feel like I'm growing the muscles I want to grow again.

I have always abhorred the word racism. I never use it.

From the pain come the dream From the dream come the vision From the vision come the people From the people come the power From this power come the change.

Heaven was the place where you kept alive the dreams of your memories.

Obamacare can't work, folks. It just cannot.

I've always been a bit of a sound freak in the movies I've done.

We can only begin to live when we conceive life as Tragedy.