I've got big feet, so filling someone else's big shoes doesn't scare me.

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Don't compare yourself with someone else's version of happy or thin. Accepting yourself burns the most calories.

Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date.

I constantly walk into a room and I don't remember why. But for some reason, I think there's going to be a clue in the fridge.

I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had 3 eggs... but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.

I always feel slightly sorry to be the voice of whatever I'm experiencing.

I'd like a pop-up magazine with 45 articles on Russell Crowe. I'm like a teenager. I'd have 'Teen Beat' if I could, for grown-ups.

Before we got engaged, he never farted. Now it's a second language.

I grew up thinking that if I wanted to go be prime minister, I could.

I always like to think I'm having a dinner party, and I'm the host, and the audience are my guests.

[The cats] scamper in front of my legs, causing me to fall and face plant into whatever furniture is closest. They especially like to play this game when I’m carrying piping hot coffee.

I like Aristotle, but I don’t agree with his cosmological argument about god.

You and I are all as much continuous with the physical universe as a wave is continuous with the ocean.

I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it's never at the expense of the other guy.

One of my greatest pleasures is being on the farmland that's been in the family since 1833.

If the human intellect functions, it is actually in order to solve the problems which the man's inner destiny sets it.

People who are doing things for fun do things the right way by themselves.

If you truly dwell within Acceptance, you are wityout two things-Expectations and Disappointments.

He had learned the worst lesson that life can teach - that it makes no sense.

Future generations should feel proud of our accomplishments in space...We are destined to explore and colonize the universe.