I've had so much good luck happen to me that I can't handle bad luck.

I don't want you to play me a riff that's going to impress Joe Satriani; give me a riff that makes a kid want to go out and buy a guitar and learn to play.

Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots.

Maybe it's not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate.

Sometimes I'm scared of being Ozzy Osbourne. But it could have been worse. I could have been Sting.

If you can laugh at your mistakes, it's a good thing.

My son Jack just got out of rehab, he's 17 years old and he got hooked on Oxycontin and I'm just a little pissed off that he never gave me a few.

Hating people isn’t a productive way of living. So what’s the point in hating anyone? There’s enough hate in the world as it is, without me adding to it.

When you’re in love, it’s not just about the messing around in the sack, it’s about how empty you feel when they’re gone.

You've got to believe in yourself, or no one will believe in you. Imagination is like a bird on the wing, flying free for you to use.

You are judged more by what you do passively than by what you do actively.

It's safe to tell us stuff, okay?" This means it's not safe to tell them anything.

Old age begins when reflection overcomes planning.

We are, at least in part, who we remember ourselves to be. Take away our memories, and you take away our selves.

This search for perfection - which is a search for divinity - is nothing more than the failure to accept our existence the way it is.

You can't get rich unless you EN-rich.

I've done smarter things in my life. Once, for example, I threw myself out of a moving car in order to take on a truckload of lycanthropes singlehandedly." ~Harry Dresden

Christmas is the glorious time of great Too-Much.

Were you lying?" "I never lie," he said piously. "About what?" "The sand, the snake." For a young man who never lied, he seemed surprisingly unoffended by the question.

Make this the year you tackle that credit card debt once and for all.