I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

Audition requires different neurological processes than vision, or smell. And I would suggest that we hear more than we see while we are reading.

Relationships are monuments build on lies

Happiness comes from holiness. You can't truly be happy unless you're hungry for Jesus Christ.

Because monks come from the midst of purity, they consider as good and pure what does not arouse desire among other people.

My first book really did change my life. It allowed me to fully express myself. There was a sense that I was worth something as an artist.

This is the fear that made fish crawl out onto dry land and evolve lungs, the fear that teaches us to run, the fear that makes us bury our dead.

The drama thing was something I've always wanted to do, but the opportunities are rare, and they have to be the right ones.

Almost anyone you talk to will say, 'I don't want to die plugged into machines.

Friends are like Lighthouses, with the sources of light coming from their hearts.

And I have a plan to do even better, to end welfare as we know it