I've introduced myself with comedy, and once you've introduced yourself as something, that's where people keep you. That's where people like to hold you.

When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth.

Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.

Whatever success I've had, I always like to top it.

You can't change what happened. Just like you can't change the future by worrying about it. You just have to keep moving.

When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take 'em.

I'm not afraid to fail. Sometimes when you lose, you win. Sometimes when you win, you lose.

I can't build myself by beating somebody down.

Suffering is a good teacher. It keeps you in its grip until you've learned your lesson.

If you mess something up, remember who got you there. Don't be pointing fingers, even if finger-pointing is called for. Only one you got to blame is your own self.

You know you poor when you eatin' breakfast food late. You fryin' toast? At nine o'clock at night? With bacon? You're broke.

Our emotions are encoded in the heart signals we emit. Use the energy you feel to know how they are feeling.

Sure you do. Everyone wants to play. They’re just afraid of looking stupid. But you know what’s stupid? Not trying. So just…try.

We need Grace and forgiveness.

If Apple's a technology company in the music industry, why can't somebody in the music industry make technology?

If something is opinion, put it in the opinion section: Don't put it in the facts section.

When I started to write culinary mysteries, I did it because nobody was doing it anymore.

I spent hours flipping through the stations, watching Pat Robertson preach about society’s evils and then ask people to call him with their credit card number.

Constant criticism can wear one down and weaken knees.

Always have a backup plan.

I’ve longed for kids since I was very, very young. And so ... I’m waiting to find the right person, someone who’s willing to take on the job.