I've learned... That money doesn't buy class.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Being kind is more important than being right.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

It ought to be an offense to be excruciating and unfunny in circumstances where your audience is almost morally obliged to enthuse.

It's nonverbal: I need love. I need the thing that happens when your brain shuts off and your heart turns on. And I know it's around me somewhere, but I just can't feel it.

If you can't know the truth, said Isolde, live the most awesome lie you can think off.

Eating well gives a spectacular joy to life and contributes immensely to goodwill.

Amazingly, we’ve become a culture that considers Twinkies, Cocoa Puffs, and Mountain Dew safe, but raw milk and compost-grown tomatoes unsafe.

It is as hard to satirize well a man of distinguished vices, as to praise well a man of distinguished virtues.

The Constitution of the United States allows us to change; I don't have a problem with that.

Snowboarding allows you to create your own path, and for me it was awesome because no one was telling me what to do. I could go out on the mountain and try new things and learn for myself.

By prayer we couple the powers of Heaven to ou helplessness, the powers which can capture strongholds and make the impossible, possible.

I think one or two of the later Holmes stories are among the best.