I've learned never to be surprised if what must inevitably happen happens right now.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

You will never get to a new place by walking an old path.

The human body is capable of amazing physical deeds. If we could just free ourselves from our perceived limitations and tap into our internal fire, the possibilities are endless.

Distrust that man who tells you to distrust.

In appreciating our neighbor, we're participating in something truly sacred.

The American people have the right to know and understand the laws they live under. And they tend to demand answers sooner or later.

It is a gratification to me to know that I am ignorant of art... Because people who understand art find nothing in pictures but blemishes.

White men in North America are the beneficiaries of the single biggest affirmative action program in world history. It's called world history.

I've been living with myself all of my life, so I know all of me. So when I watch me, all I see is me. It's boring.

Sometimes I underestimate the magnitude of me.

Tis now the very witching time of night, when churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out Contagion to this world.