I've learned so much from my failures that I'm thinking of having some more.

Instead of past, present and future, I'd prefer chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target

Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most.

Please don't lie to me,unless,you're sure I'll never find out the truth.

The greatest obstacle to discovering the truth is being convinced that you already know it.

I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

I too have known joy and sadness, and, on the whole, I prefer joy.

I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.

I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent.

Keep some souvenirs of your past, or how will you ever prove it wasn't all a dream?

When do you manipulate others for your own advantage? When I notice myself doing it, usually it is when I am feeling insecure.

We all die. I can't promise to live forever." His armstightened around her. "But I can promise to love you as long as Ilive.

I try to leave out the parts readers skip.

Well, I think a lot of people only hear about the extreme, fundamentalist kind of polygamists, because they're always in the news being brought up on charges.

I always call Billy Elliot a fantasy autobiography because I never wanted to be a dancer, but I got a lot of stick from the other kids about wanting to be a writer and being interested in drama.

Life hangs as nothing in the scale against dear Liberty!

It may have lost its special-ness forever and the clubs might not being doing well but I think standup is in the best shape it has been in a long time.

Everyone is a comedy. If people are laughing at you, they just don't quite understand the joke that is themselves.

It takes a lot of adrenaline and fear to make me actually write.

It is indeed not easy to distinguish affectation from habit; he that has once studiously developed a style, rarely writes afterwards with complete ease.