I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Being kind is more important than being right.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

I think that the great trick in life, wherever you are in the journey, is to do what you love and let the universe support it. When we do what we love, every day is a holiday.

You don't get to vote on what is. Have you noticed?

Literature exists because the world isn't enough.

Be of the disciples of Aaron, loving peace and pursuing peace, loving your fellow creatures and drawing them near to the Law.

I frankly don't make much of a living, but I make a hell of a life.

And I had always liked vampire stories because they are great material that can be refashioned in lots of ways.

I always try to stay as quiet as possible about a book until it's finished.

Perfectionism doesn't make you feel perfect. It makes you feel inadequate.

I think about death every day - what it would be like, why it would happen to me. It would be humiliating to be afraid.

I thought they were helping me. I was so full of trust in them that I felt grateful as they carried me in the air. Only when they threw me overboard did I begin to have doubts.