I've lived nine lives . . . And this is the worst.

I've thought about living the koala's life, but you may need to petition the government quarantine rules to make it happen. Quarantine would make me extra grumpy.

The best things in life are . . . Annoying.

I never forget my three word mantra: "Never start caring."

I had peanut butter once. It was awful.

Don't let the world . . . Cheer you up.

I stay out of the sunshine and away from people as much as possible.

It's rare to find someone as equally grumpy as myself, but somehow [Aubrey Plaza] does it.

[Being a celebrity] In a word, it's terrible. In two words...Really terrible.

I wouldn't want to disappoint my fans by doing anything exciting. You've got to stay true to your roots.

I'm usually a no-filter kind of cat. My frown comes really naturally and doesn't need anything else to keep it real.

If you own this story you get to write the ending.

Ah, yes, the mix tape. The mating call of the introvert.

There are as many ways to discover your story as there are to trip over a dog in the kitchen--and some of them feel about as planned.

I have no one to leave the money to. I'm a single man. I like spending my money.

People are either good or they're not. Religion doesn't make anybody good, I don't think.

But I'm thinking about 12 things at once, a hundred thousand times a day. Most people do, I would imagine.

I never thought of myself as a writer.

Sometimes, the darkest part of the morning is just before dawn

Happiness is seasonal, like anything else

There is only one problem on which all my existence, my peace, my happiness depend: to discover myself in discovering God. If I find Him I will find myself and if I find my true self I will find Him.