I've made an incredible amount of money stealing fans from homeowners.

Become the kind of person the kind of person you would like to marry would like to marry.

To say that someone is a conservative does not tell us what he is interested in conserving.

Beware of anyone who claims to be neutral, for they always have an agenda.

I write in order to make the little voices in my head go away. Thus far it hasn't worked.

But for you to make this move would reveal the two fundamental tenets of true atheism. One: There is no God. Two: I hate Him.

Education is the process of selling someone on books.

Immodest and attractive is easy. Modest and repulsive is easy too. But modest and attractive is an art form.

If no God, mankind is a set of bi-pedal carbon units of mostly water. And nothing else

Yeah, I spent about 20 years in a dorm room. It took me a while to graduate.

Masculinity is the glad assumption of sacrificial responsibility.

There is something about me, doll face. It’s between my legs, and I do believe a few minutes ago you were praying to it.

My life is never influenced by death because I am full of resurrections after so many spiritual and emotional demises

literature was the best plaything that had ever been invented to make fun of people.

The Word of God bares weight on all ages always.

Some people talk of Africa being a continent cursed not blessed with minerals, but the real curse is the leaders and politicians of Africa

What you theoretically know vividly realize.

The soul is awakened through service.

Charles Fox said that restorations were the most bloody of all revolutions; and he might have added that reformations are the best mode of preventing the necessity of either.

When I got a call from Los Angeles to do the Tonight Show, I considered it more of an inconvenience than an opportunity.

I went to a lecture of [Arthur Koestler ] once, I never met him.