I've made myself laugh from some ideas - but I've never scared myself.

Read. Read. Read. Just don't read one type of book. Read different books by various authors so that you develop different styles.

Well, when I was 13, for my bar mitzvah I received my first typewriter. And that was special.

Many adults feel that every children's book has to teach them something.... My theory is a children's book... can be just for fun.

Sometimes it helps to scold yourself, to give yourself advice.

I feel happy to terrify kids.

When I write, I try to think back to what I was afraid of or what was scary to me, and try to put those feelings into books.

The only lesson is, you gotta keep at it.

Everything that has happened to me has been amazing and surprising.

Who is more irrational, the guy who believes in a God he can't see, or a guy who's offended by a God he doesn't believe in?

I've had a very sheltered life. What can happen to you if you stay home writing all day?

God takes two and make them one but satan takes one and make it two.

Happiness is brief It will not stay. God batters at its sails.

You cannot do what I do for a living without having a thick skin.

The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.

I believe men's faces come in two kinds: Faces that need a blade, and faces that need an electric. I never was happy with an electric. I became pizzaneck.

There are some things that can't be measured.

I hope you guys stay with me forever, because I will always love you and support you

A society will be judged on the basis of how it treats its weakest members; and among the most vulnerable are surely the unborn and the dying.

Those comfortably padded lunatic asylums which are known, euphemistically, as the stately homes of England.

I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.