I've matured as a writer and human being. I've got some wisdom under my belt.

Everyone deals with loss. I'm no different, but we all find our ways of coming through things. Is it tough? Of course, but you find the strength to push on through.

A happy one will do her best to make you happy but a pathetic one will convert your life to a pathetic one

We are responsible. There is nothing being done to us apart from what we are doing to ourselves.

Happy and alone, you say? Reclusive and merry? How oxymoronic! Pas possible! Alas, the concept is lost on so many.

It turns out she is Canadian, my editor, and so she drinks like a fish. So she wasn't a lightweight at all. And in the morning, she said that the idea still seemed like a good one, and here we are.

Read it aloud to yourself because that's the only way to be sure the rhythms of the sentences are OK.

This art, born of genius and good taste, can become beautiful and varied to an infinite degree.

I think I'm an abstinence symbol. If I take my shirt off, people will not have babies.

I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.

Nanny Ogg could see the future in the froth on a beer mug. It invariably showed that she was going to enjoy a refreshing drink which she almost certainly was not going to pay for.

What comes out of your mouth is determined by what goes into your mind.