I've met Jon Glaser who has a show on Adult Swim call Delocated and he's the main writer we hired for the show. That's really my brand of humor, I would say.

You have to do well on third downs.

The worst thing in the world is to feel like people turn on the TV and say, oh god, it's that guy again. I'm trying to avoid that.

I think by its very nature, it's redundant, you know, being the play-by-play guy on television.

Five years ago, I wasn't getting questions [about blogs and the internet] from the TV/radio critic of the New York Times.

And Johnny Manziel is only in a snickers commercial.

If you're the play-by-play announcer, I think it's your job to be better than just saying what's on people's TV screen.

I actually called a touchdown on national TV in the NFL while going to the bathroom.

Every time you see kid and hear kid, you think, man, I have to not sound like a kid.

You know what you gotta do cowboy?

We all fell in love with the young Macaulay Culkin, back in the day

Integrity is the recognition of the fact that you cannot fake your consciousness, just as honesty is the recognition of the fact that you cannot fake existence.

Never wish unto others what you wouldn't wish for yourself.

If you've ever really been poor you remain poor at heart all your life.

Syria is geographically and politically in the middle of the Middle East. That is why we are in contact with most of the problems forever, let us say, whether directly or indirectly.

For any particular thing, ask: What is it in itself? What is its nature?

All travel is circular. I had been jerked through Asia, making a parabola on one of the planet's hemispheres. After all, the grand tour is just the inspired man's way of heading home.

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends. We're so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside.

Take the competition seriously, but not yourself.

You can always work harder and we are capable of extraordinary things.

He murmurs near the running brooks A music sweeter than their own.