I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

We have this idea that we need to be in the mood to write. We don't.

The earth laughs in flowers.

Actors need to trust themselves. If you trust yourself, you can trust others and leave the director outside.

Forget college, forget everything else, just educate yourself, your world around you, everything around you.

There is not a single truth of science upon which we ought to bet more than about a million of millions to one.

We are all here to look after each other. I would not be where I am, as the woman I am, without the love and mentorship I have in my corner.

Because I stopped dieting already six months ago, and I think it's important to bring out a book like this and you are there a year later and say look, I'm still like this.

The only single guy driving a minivan is a guy whose mother bought the van 16 years ago...

Consciousness is a sea ringed with visions.

Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.