I've never actually given birth to a child, but I suspect that going to a Justin Bieber concert with a child is close.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Just go with it', he thought. 'You won't figure out anything if you give in to fear'.

read for life read for your mindread till you can't read...

I say, sir, that you can never make an intelligent judgment without evidence.

When you read a piece of writing that you admire, send a note of thanks to the author.

Becoming artistic directors is an enormous responsibility and not one that we take lightly.

Push your boundaries, that's what they're there for.

I think it would be bizarre to pick somebody to speak at the convention based on their sexual preference, because once you go down that road, why don't you pick a transvestite?

My job isn't to represent the Democrat Party or the Republican Party. It's to represent Hoosier families.

The Internet was developed in large part by U.S. government research funding to develop new communications networks, starting with a network created by the Department of Defense.

Constant acts of goodness are worth far more than rare acts of greatness.