I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

the rent is a little higher herebut so far I've been able to pay itand that's a miracle toolike still maybe being sanewhile thinking of guns and sidewalksand old ladies in libraries.

In the defense of civil liberties there can be no exceptions, or there will soon be many.

Some people meet each other again only when I'm there!

We don't have any miraculous way of avoiding taxes at Wesco and Berkshire.

I'm an actor I'm not a politician. I always kick myself when I talk too much about family, or personal things.

I refuse to repent, and I won't plague myself over what is done and past

Sing unto the Lord with thanksgiving; sing praise upon the harp unto our God: Who covereth the heaven with clouds, who prepareth rain for the earth, who maketh grass to grow upon the mountains.

Bureaucracy is adept at protecting its nest.

Apollo Records signed me for my gospel ability.

Careerism in Washington "goes to the heart of what's wrong in America right now."