I've never been mean-spirited, in my opinion. I never did anything below the belt.

Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

Some people say funny things - but I say things funny.

Fiction and poetry are doses, medicines. What they heal is the rupture reality makes on the imagination.

Customers want brands that are narrow in scope and distinguishable by a single word, the shorter the better.

Our bodies demand our attention; our bodies demand that we actually pay attention to what is going on with our lives.

Microeconomics: The study of who has the money and how I can get my hands on it.Macroeconomics: The study of which government agency has the gun, and how we can get our hands on it.

...the facility at Guantanamo Bay is necessary to national security.

Elizabeth Taylor. In her heyday, she was amazing.

It is not caving in to the bees to stop poking a stick into their hive.

Would you be known by everybody? Then you know nobody.

In loving his own productive, generative, generous love, God loves all those ways in which that love can be realised in creation.

Once you know the truth, you can’t ever go back and pick up your suitcase of lies. Heavier or not, the truth is yours now.