I've never been struck by lightning as far as I know, so the Higher Power is treating me as well as even those people who love him very much.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Work is God’s great investment in you

Love is love, wherever you may find it—even when it's covered in feathers.

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. life-quotes.co

I couldn't lie to get myself fame and fortune.

Haste is never more dangerous than when you feel that victory is in your grasp.

Never underestimate the incompetence of government.

The evidence shows that religious people - defined by regular attendance at a place of worship - actually do make better neighbours.

But I'm looking at life, and I'm putting nothing off.

There are far more good answers "out there" than there are in you.

The poorest way to face life is to face it with a sneer.