I’ve never met anyone who made it with a chick because they owned a Tom Waits album. I’ve got all three, and it’s never helped me.

A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.

Don't plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. The weeks grow into months. Before you know it, you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me - choke those little bad days. Choke 'em down to nothing.

We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

when your down on your luck and you've lost all your dreams theres nothing like a campfire and a can of beans

I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.

The folks who know the truth aren't talking.... The ones who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up!

You have to keep busy. After all, no dog's ever pissed on a moving car.

When I was younger, I wanted to be older. Now I am older, I am not quite so sure.

Most people don't care if you're telling them the truth or if you're telling them a lie, as long as they're entertained by it.

The only way to vanquish cowardice is to brandish courage.

No girl can forget the day she lost her virginity, or the circumstance that led to it

Why are we fated to love those we cannot have ...?

We're losing track of the vastness of the potential for computer science. We really have to revive the beautiful intellectual joy of it, as opposed to the business potential.

When George Washington was elected president, there was no national vote.

Single men never have any problems. I suppose that the public builds some kind of idea from what they've seen of me on the screen.

We all possess more power and greater possibilities than we realize, and visualizing is one of the greatest of these powers.

I draw manga, therefore I am!

The successful man or woman always looks for the advantage or benefit in every situation and lo and behold, they always find it.

The greatest losses are unknown and unknowable.