I've never really been very good at marriage. It's one of my failures. I've tried my best, but I do realise the common denominator is me; it's something I'm doing.

I'm a cup of tea in a world of lattes.

The truth is, I've been lucky. But just like the waltz, life has its own rhythm of rise and fall.

The thing with children is they're a bit like baking a fruitcake: you throw all the ingredients in but you never know how they're going to turn out.

Your money is like your willy, it only grows if you play with it

I always think of a show like a plant - a little pruning now and then keeps it healthy, but you shouldn't pull it out and chop the roots up.

You got to risk it if you want the biscuit.

It's never too early to panic.

I won't eat anything I can't spell or wouldn't tread in.

I really hate airport queues. I almost feel they should have cattle prods to hurry us up down the aisles. You can't even complain because they might stop you getting on to the flight.

I'm a technophobe. I can't crack the iPhone, and the extent of my multitasking is being able to talk while I make a drink.

Oh, God! That bread should be so dear, And flesh and blood so cheap!

​It is Obscene to keep Printing Newspapers in the Digital Era

No matter how far we travel, the memories will follow in the baggage car.

Act like a VIP and become a VIP

I've gained a few pounds around the middle. The only lower body garments I own that still fit me comfortably are towels.

First impressions are always unreliable.

To become powerful, to develop will, meditate on the naval center.

Well, you know, I was through the whole of the Second World War and saw all my friends killed.

The central fact is that overwhelmingly suicide-terrorist attacks are not driven by religion as much as they are by a clear strategic objective.

What if this cursed hand Were thicker than itself with brother's blood Is there not rain enough in the sweet heaves To wash it white as snow?