I've never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.

I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after.

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.

I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair, but he says he's charging me for finding it.

My career is pretty much over. I'm out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.

Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her.

I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.

You can't TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you've just got to watch Don as Barney. And that's why I put Don in several of my movies.

I figure you're only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I've always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction.

Fortunately my wife is understanding. When I come home from the races she never asks any questions, if I tell her I just ate a $380 hot dog.

The reason 'The Carol Burnett Show' did so well in the ratings is because people were looking for that comfort zone when the whole family sat around and watched television and enjoyed it.

This shows you that even mistakes are sometimes valuable, so do not be hard on grown-up people if they are wrong sometimes.

You are the only one who knows what you are actively doing to avoid being what you want to be.

You don't have to eat the entire turd to know that it's not a crab cake.

What we find changes who we become.

Who so loves believes the impossible.

Your accumulated offences do not surpass the multitude of God's mercies: your wounds do not surpass the great Physician's skill.

Whether we know it or not, we are all in a quest after the Great Companion. All study, all art, all music, all literature, all government, all industry are in essence a search after the Infinite.

Those who follow the part of themselves which is great are great men; those who follow the part which is little are little men.

Education doesn't just take place in stuffy classrooms and university buildings, it can happen everywhere, every day to every person.

Beneath every excuse lies a fear. Practice being fearless.