I've never thought it was necessary to make fun of people - you can find fun in people without necessarily mocking them.

A good heavy book holds you down. It's an anchor that keeps you from getting up and having another gin and tonic.

It's my belief that sanity lies in realizing that reality is not exactly what we had in mind.

Mozart combined high formality and playfulness that delights as no other composition in any other medium does.

People don't necessarily want or need to be done unto as you would have them do unto you. They want to be done unto as they want to be done unto.

Ham's substantial, ham is fat. Ham is firm and sound. Ham's what God was getting at When He made pigs so round.

Cats have intercepted my footsteps at the ankle for so long that my gait, both at home and on tour, has been compared to that of a man wading through low surf.

The legendary yet factual Curtis Wilkie has been the right man in the right place at an uncanny number of extraordinary times.

The first time I walked into a library, I got so excited I almost wet my pants.

I prefer my oysters fried; that way I know my oysters died.

The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs'.

I wonder how it takes you, that moment when everything turns to shadows. - Somerled.

The toughest thing worth losing is Pride.

Exhaustion is a thin blanket tattered with bullet holes.

When a man is gloomy everything seems to go wrong when he is cheerful everything seems right!

A publisher should always be on the receiving end. He should take an interest in almost any subject and remain anonymous, letting the author take center stage.

An actor should never be larger than the film he's in.

From the first day to this, sheer greed was the driving spirit of civilization.

I have very short hair. It's the only cute haircut I think I've ever had.

Every single soul is a poem, written on the back of God's hand

Cristiano Ronaldo has done massive things in both the Premier League and in the Champions League, but Messi is the best though and I am convinced that next year he will win the Ballon d'Or.