I've played D&D for years. I'm a comic book guy. Comic-Con in San Diego is nerd Christmas for me.

I do think certain kinds of music can make you violent. Like, when I listen to Nickelback, it makes me want to kill Nickelback.

I've been trying to quit smoking weed and it's really hard quitting pot. It was actually easier to become a vegetarian because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of beef.

Metal is the feeling of being an outsider, but still being part of something huge.

I was such a nerd in high school, I didn't even have imaginary friends, I had imaginary bullies.

Because I go outside sometimes, I'm exposed to terrible, terrible music in public.

Good comedy makes you laugh, and bad comedy makes people you hate laugh.

I like any big city. I like any place where you can see a guy with a pants-full of pooh fighting a ghost.

I also smoke a lot of pot, occasionally, every day.

My act is pretty much me reflecting on what I want to talk about and what I think is funny and what has happened to me.

As a comic, I used to know more about pop culture.

When I write, I make discoveries about my feelings.

We never earned righteous to last long, why are we trying to earn it among same kind.

Set a goal to achieve something that is so big, so exhilarating that it excites you and scares you at the same time.

Most men who run down women are running down one woman only.

I go to my grandchildren. They keep their grandpa informed on what's going on.

The financial industry is a service industry. It should serve others before it serves itself.

The people are what matter to government, and a government should aim to give all the people under its jurisdiction the best possible life.

Stephen L. Carter coined the phrase 'the culture of disbelief' to describe the prevailing hostility in Western culture toward public expressions of faith.

I listen to money singing, it's like looking down from long French windows at a provincial town. The slums, the canal, the churches ornate and mad in the evening sun. It is intensely sad.