I've played golf with three U.S presidents.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

I was sick and ye visited me.

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict.

[Mystery] is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science.

As men are not able to fight against death, misery, ignorance, they have taken it into their heads, in order to be happy, not to think of them at all.

A lot of my love of literature comes from Oz and Alice.

A pleasant voice, which has to include clear enunciation, is not only attractive to those who hear it... its appeal is permanent.

Everything that lives, does so under the categorical condition of decisively interfering in the life of someone else.

How we spend our time verifies what we value most: TV, the Internet, or God's Word?

Do you seriously envision St. Paul or Calvin or Luther opening bottles of Welch's Grape Juice in the sacristy before the service? Luther at least would turn over in his grave.

There would be a price... But if you were worried about the price, then why were you in the shop?