I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

My only regret in the theater is that I could never sit out front and watch me.

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

Live like the season is ending and the birds are leaving, fight against the winds of the fall like the last leave.

Nothing in Nature, much less conscious being, Was e'er created solely for itself.

The path of love has many opponents - fear, self-pity, anxiety, hate, lust, greed, avarice - all the usual freinds.

When I hear that somebody's difficult, I think, Oh, I can't wait to work with them.

Everything, virtue, glory, honor, things human and divine, all are slaves to riches.

One unrepaired broken window is a signal that no one cares, and so breaking more windows costs nothing.

When bad things happened to other people, I imagined them happening to me. I didn’t know if this was empathy or theft.

It is no coincidence that our country has not been attacked since 9-11. Our initiatives to protect the homeland and aggressively take the fight to the terrorists have been factors in that success.

I base my track-listing and what songs I pick by what my fans expect from me and what they want and what I think they want.

Do not be in a hurry to succeed. What would you have to live for afterwards? Better make the horizon your goal; it will always be ahead of you.