I‘ve said it once and I will say it again, why can‘t everyone just speak English? The Americans give it a bit of a go — why can‘t other nations?

Your soul shines through even if you haven't got mascara on

When girls walk home we put on lippy and makeup. We chat. Sometimes we pretend to be hunchbacks. But that is it. Perfectly normal behavior.

Jas, you are three hundred miles away. You would have to have nunga-nungas the size of France for Jock to be able to rest his hand on them.

A nod is as good as a wink to a blind badger.

I will not have him in my brain;there is no room for anyone else in the cakeshop of agony. it's crowded enough in there already.

I've never had anyone say they love me before. Libby lobes me, that is true, but there is something a bit menacing about the way she says it.

What in the name of Hitler's panties and matching bra set was she talking about?

He who laughs last laughs the laughiest.

Dad has brought me a cup of tea in bed this morning! I said, 'Vati, why are you waking me up in the middle of the night? Are you on fire?

Mum said, "It is the thought that counts." And I said, "I know, which is why I am ringing the authorities right now. Anyone who thinks like she does should be locked up out of harm's way.

When everything has gone down, God wants youto look up

Rich and wealth comes to a man only through diligence

How slow can a mammal be and still have respiratory functions?

Easy there," Zach said when I stumbled into him. "Now's probably not the time to get handsy. You might want to control yourself.

Everything takes me forever. It's all lurch, flail. I hope that is good news to you writers.

Fear, hatred, and suspicion narrow your mind - compassion opens it.

The only way not to think about money is to have a great deal of it.

Logic issues in tautologies, mathematics in identities, philosophy in definitions; all trivial, but all part of the vital work of clarifying and organising our thought.

I think that if Hollywood has a problem, it constantly underestimates the intelligence and integrity of fans.

You have projected onto yourself a world of your own imagination, based on memories, on desires and fears, and you have imprisoned yourself in it. Break the spell and be free.