I've seen the truth, and it makes no sense.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

It's one of the things I love most about being an author - seeing the different covers from each country.

The modern media environment is so overrun with bullshit and static and people trying to sell you stupid crap. It makes you want to bite yourself.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art is unsurpassed at presenting more than 50 centuries of work. I go there constantly, seeing things over and over, better than I've ever seen them before.

I believe in prayer. I believe in gratitude and serving people.

Part of forgiving people is releasing them from our own agendas.

I don't think making love the new bottom line is naïve; I believe that thinking we can survive the next hundred years doing anything less, is naïve.

I was very vocal about how I wanted to be portrayed on the show, and how I wanted the stage setup to be.

You will not! It's wrong." "What, kissing you, or kissing you in Pies and Stuff?

If you believe you are right, or you believe you are wrong, you're right. Whenever you are certain about it, you will support it. Remember that.

I can do anything I want, basically, as long as it doesn't involve athletic ability, or something like that.