I've tried everything. I've done therapy, I've done colonics. I went to a psychic who had me running around town buying pieces of ribbon to fill the colors in my aura. Did the Prozac thing.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

I know this sounds strange, but as a kid, I was really shy. Painfully shy. The turning point was freshman year, when I was the biggest geek alive. No one, I mean no one, even talked to me.

My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.

Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them.

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine.

Flowers don't worry about how they're going to bloom. They just open up & turn toward the light & that makes them beautiful.

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.

Ever since I started to get recognition I've picked out certain fans and reverse-stalked them.

Everything you gain in life will rot and fall apart, and all that will be left of you is what was in your heart.

Your life will be simplified when you choose inaction when no action is required and choose action when action is required!

The intellectual support for UNBELIEF is about as stable as the stock market.

No competition, no progress.

Some people when they get older are so firm in their beliefs that you'll never move them.

No matter what size you are, you must be healthy. I focus on health as a model, whether it's doing yoga, hiking, kickboxing - those things bring me joy.

Do something, by God’s help, to make heaven more full and hell more empty.

If alcohol is queen, then tobacco is her consort. It's a fond companion for all occasions, a loyal friend through fair weather and foul.

Many modern scholars have found the asceticism expressed in Plato unacceptable; it does not sound like the advice of a reasonable man in the Cartesian tradition.

Knowing how to market yourself and your press materials is key.

Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.