I’ve worked with freshmen that were easier than this.

There’s no way to stand up gracefully when your pants are down around your ankles.

You tell me the dead are coming through a crack in my barn, but I shouldn’t worry?

I missed the good old days when phones were sturdy enough to be pounded for emphasis.

This was going to be worse than the time I table danced in the diner in high school!

Banks frown when employees torch the home of their principal account holder.

This house has enough nooks and crannies for English muffins.

Turns out there’s a reason smoking is not allowed on construction sites.

You pretty much have to take the job since you hit him with the car.

Maybe you’re worried that I won’t seduce you?

Elvis is in the kitchen and he’s making eggs Benedict!

Welcome to His poem. His play. His novel. Skip the bowls of fruit and statues. Let the page flick your thumbs. This is His spoken word.

Go a little easy on the people around you. Try to reel in judging thoughts. Think before you speak.

Only the force of American arms, or the extremely credible threat of that force, can bring a fresh face to power.

Each others' lives are our best textbooks.

I think I may drop dead on the stage someday. I hate to think of it. But it's getting tough on me, the travel. The show, I somehow manage to rise up to it, you know. But I have no desire to retire.

Mysticism is for all, not just for a few special people.

American society as a whole can never achieve the outer-reaches of potential, so long as it tolerates the inner cities of despair.

You just can’t say that, just as you can’t say that all Christians are fundamentalists. We have our share of them (fundamentalists). All religions have these little groups.

The search for truth begins in your heart.

In essence, String Theory describes space and time, matter and energy, gravity and light, indeed all of God's creation as music.