I’ve written for the waste basket so often that we’ve become friends. He writes too, but it’s mostly garbage.

The choice to make good choices is the best choice you can choose. Fail to make that choice and on most choices you will lose.

Life is a web of intersections and choices. Your 1st choice is to recognize an intersection. Your 2nd choice is to be grateful for it.

Get off the treadmill of consumption, replication, and mediocrity. Begin lifting the weights of creativity, originality, and success.

A professional headshot in front of a bookshelf says you're an intellectual. A professional headshot peeking though a bookshelf says you're probably under a restraining order.

One of my relatives invented the sensory deprivation tank. Appropriately, most of my family has never seen or heard of him.

When I first tried a sensory deprivation tank, people thought I had lost my mind. In fact, I had found it.

I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you're here?

The best cure for a stick up your butt is a dog to play fetch with.

Part of my soul goes into each quote I write. A book of my quotes can be yours for just $19.99.

Quotes are echos of voices transporting wisdom, humor, and love. Returning again to the human condition, fleeting once more as a dove.

a wise woman puts a grain of sugar in everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a toddler leaves a diaper.

Without writers, stories would not be written, Without actors, stories could not be brought to life.

...you've lost perspective? Well, get it back - God alone has the third person point of view in this life ...

I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay.

Journalists hold themselves apart, and above, the common person. They have rules designed to ensure their objectivity and impartiality.

When you first fall in love, it's supposed to be awful. Awful, uncertain, scary, wonderful, confusing, all at once. That's how you know it's real. You have to care deeply. Passionately. That hurts.

I love being a dad. I'd have more kids if I could. I'd take a couple more, one or two more before I croak.