I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

The worth of a society is genuine if established on cardinal law of kingdom–love

If you accept the situation, you will find strength for strategic adaptation.

Benedict Cumberbatch is very beautiful.

When we decide to do something, we do it quickly.

Climbing at altitude is like hitting your head against a brick wall - it's great when you stop.

It took a woman to actually do something about the lack of women in creative departments.

Seek not happiness too greedily and be not fearful of happiness.

We're only as sick as the secrets we keep.

It's when you've found out how to do certain things, that it's time to stop doing them, because what's missing is that you're not including the risk.

The world had moved on and all that was over, done before fairly begun.