I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

When a woman has not received much flattery in her life, she will be seduced.

Anyone who feels to much or radiates extremity gets very lonely.

Self-questioning and a desire to gain self-understanding is the fêted act of humankind.

Martina's like the old Green Bay Packers. You know exactly what she's going to do, but there isn't a thing you can do about it.

Whether it's coming from FDR or it's coming from Ronald Reagan, if the idea is right for the times then we're gonna apply it. And things that don't work we're gonna get rid of.

I still have many goals left, especially the Overall World Cup standings.

My doctor told me that I drastically needed to lose weight. Fear of death and dying motivated meto make many lifestyle changes that led me to eventually shed over 100 pounds.

I had thought Felicity dangerous a moment ago, when she felt powerful. I was wrong. Wounded and powerless, she is more dangerous than I could imagine.

That's not very attractive behavior, Bella." he said. " Forgiveness is divine. "Mind your own buisness.

And we don't often get any wading birds in the River Ankh, mainly because the pollution would eat their legs away and anyway, it's easier for them to walk on the surface.