I wanna see a snake eat spaghetti.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Reading is the spark to imagination. Ignite yours and live forever free.

I wouldn't miss this fake-homo show for all the Gucci Shoes on Rodeo Drive.

When a match has equal partners then I fear not.

Narrative prose is a legal wife, while drama is a posturing, boisterous, cheeky and wearisome mistress.

Fun has to rule in a lot of scenarios. Occasionally, when you are really getting going, you need to stretch beyond language. It has to go out the window.

Everybody can see that my swing is homegrown. That means everybody has a chance to do it.

When I was five I think, that's when I started wanting to be an actress.

It's that first step-getting out the door-that's the toughest. If you can do that, you've already won.

When we are exalted by ideas, we do not owe this to Plato, but to the idea, to which also Plato was debtor.

The voice of honest indignation is the voice of God.