I want a man in my life, not in my house.

I keep my stand-up comedy notes in a pile on my desk. I don't organize my act. I keep myself in a state of confusion. It stresses me out, but I prefer creative chaos.

I don't get jealous of people. Jealousy is such a waste of time because you're jealous of them, and they go about their lives and have a wonderful time, so what's the point?

Those flowers were picked by illegal immigrants. And they're not voting for you, b*tch.

Everyone thinks I'm Jewish. I'm not. Last year I got a call: "Happy Hanukkah." I said "Ma, I'm not Jewish."

Madeleine Albright, when you see her, she's not a beautiful woman and she's getting older. But you're saying that woman has gravitas. She knows what she's talking about.

I want to do an intelligent talk show where you have room to breathe...

I don't need a diet pill. I need something that gives you an electric shock when you reach for food.

Statistically, skinny women die younger than fat women. Why? Because fat women are killing them.

Republican Party hasn't been black friendly over the many centuries in this country.

Comedians usually are rooting for the underdog. I mean to take a shot at an underdog I think is really stupid and low and not funny.

Everyone know is, soul does it or it doesn't exist it really doesn't matter. What does it matter is that you will die soon and you will be out of the Matrix!

If Cupid misses the heart, he touches the body fatally. (Si Cupidon rate le cœur, - Il touche mortellement le corps)

We just all need to stick together and unite, be together and support one another.

. . . the man is free, we say, who exists for his own sake and not for another's.

You know what guys do? They stand up for people. You know why? Two reasons. It's right. And it feels good. Even if the person doesn't know what you did. Maybe especially then.

What I've realized is that a film operates both on the intellectual and emotional levels, and if you can find a way to tell a riveting story and draw ideas out of that, it's very powerful.

Who hath not courage to revenge will never find generosity to forgive.

As you can imagine this is a very emotional moment for me because Dave promised me many times that I was the only woman he would ever cheat on.

There is a chord in every heart that has a sigh in it if touched aright.

It seems everyone in the world is now a potential member of the paparazzi. Most of the time people ask if they can take a picture with their mobiles but increasingly they don't bother to ask.