I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Punk is about being an individual and going against the grain and standing up and saying 'This is who I am.

When people are filled to the brim with love, they are their most beautiful.

The head best leaves to the heart what the heart alone divines.

Precious things lost are transmutable. They refuse oblivion. They simply wait to be rendered into testimonies, into stories and songs.

We had the 60s sexual revolution, and now people are dying of AIDS.

I'm in favor of animal liberation. Why? Because I'm an animal.

Let me know the way, before there's hell to pay.

Working in this industry, I have been exposed to so many products and now realize more than ever how cruel and unnecessary animal testing is.

If the enemy stays spirited it is difficult to crush him.

We can support our troops without supporting our president.